Masking Flaws

Posted by bethsweet on Oct 14, 2011 in topics | Comments Off

Relevant Magazine has been doing a great job dealing with the topics of faith and sexuality in recent months. They recently tackled the very real issue of many single Christians struggling with premarital sex.

In Unmarried & Not a Virgin…Now What?, they lay out some very significant reasons why premarital sex can hinder relational growth. Check out the wisdom of this nugget:

No matter what you call it, that season before marriage is a really important time in your life. It is the coming together of two people in an effort to know and be known. It is a trial period, in which you are pursuing compatibility and connection in hopes of a lifelong commitment. That is some serious stuff. As exciting and exhilarating as this season can be, it’s also loaded with pressure. But you see, pressure can be a very good thing.

 

The best analogy I’ve heard regarding this topic is from a book by P. Roger Hillerstrom. He parallels a couple’s relationship before marriage to a steam pipe. The role of this pipe is to transport pressure. Many times, these pipes are prone to cracks and imperfections. When pressure builds, it allows these cracks and imperfections to be revealed and ultimately repaired. But when the pressure is released prematurely … the pressure doesn’t build, and the cracks are never found, nor repaired. As Hillerstrom says, “Eventually, they will corrode and destroy the pipe.”

 

The truth is, every relationship must go through a series of healthy pressures to discover what it’s really made of. Family of origin issues, expectations, roles, personality differences … the list goes on and on. Communication is the key to discovering and working through these pressures. As a professional counselor, I can’t stress enough the importance of building a marriage on healthy communication. The problem with sex outside of marriage is that it allows for “pressure” to be released through the avenue of the physical rather than by the foundational structure of communication.

 

Problems and flaws are never discovered … until it’s too late and the damage has completely destroyed what could have been an indestructible match.

Do yourself a favor and check out the rest of the article here.